Monday, December 27, 2010


When I was 18 someone referred to me as "one tenacious girl."  After looking up the definition in the dictionary, I wasn't sure whether it was a compliment or not.

It hasn't been until the last few years that I've realized that an unwillingness to quit is a huge benefit. The undying drive to seek something of great value is a great life skill.  Especially when the going gets rough...real rough.  A synonym for tenacity is courage.  Another is strength.  

When you're tenacious you tend to create clear cut, well illuminated goals.  Such as...running a marathon, getting a degree, or losing 10 pounds.  You write the goal down, you marry it, and work your ass towards it.  When things arise that may impede your goal, you push it aside or climb over it, or even use it to work harder. 

As Louis Pasteur said, "Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity."

However, when your goal is a little blurry or your not quite sure of what that goal is, the tenacity begins to fade.  The excuses begin to become mountains that can't be climbed...or take everything within your soul to climb.  That's sort of where I am right now...with a lot of things...and overcoming it all seems like a huge challenge.

I'm trying not to get stuck in the rut of being a whiner.  Because God knows, I can't stand whiners.  But it's kinda hard some days.  "I'm so tired..." because yea, I got 45 minutes of sleep last night and I'm taking care of three kids by myself so yea...I'm fucking tired.  "I'm so sore...." because yea, sleeping on the floor (for only 45 minutes) of the nursery will make your joints feel like ass.  "I'm a little overwhelmed" as is anyone who has a kid with special needs is. 

I realize that at this juncture I really need to take stock in what matters...what are the things of "great value" to me that I'm going to start working my ass off for?  Setting a PR in a half...not so much.  Getting the baby on a schedule....hmm...maybe that's the goal I should set.