Seems like I get this way every February. Just BLAH.
Not a depression that would require the help of pharmaceuticals, more of a physical, whole body DEPRESSION. I want to crawl into a cave and stay there, warmly bundled, until April 14. I'll emerge just in time for Roo's birthday.
But, I can't.
Bless his little pea pickin' heart, my husband purchased for me, as a SURPRISE! Christmas Gift, my entry in the Disney Princess Half Marathon. Because the race is slated for March 7th, I haven't been able to hibernate, I've been forced to continue my running. So on those frosty Sunday Mornings when all I want to do is cuddle up with Mr. Kitty and watch some high quality Lifetime flicks, my ass is jogging all over Murphy, Plano, Richardson, and Garland.
It really isn't THAT bad. I call my Sunday Mornin' Runs my Church Time. Instead of going to church, I get my God Time while tackling Jupiter Road. And I tell you what, God and I have had some good chats on these runs. Last week, during my peak run before the race (13.5 miles) I felt closer to God than I ever have. Not the "oh my goodness, are those white lights?" kind of closeness, but a deep rooted spiritual security. I've been running on what I seriously believe is a stress fractured foot for a few weeks. And it was HURTING like holy canolis. I tried my Military Mantra of "Pain is Weakness leaving the body..." but that only led me to "Goodness body, why do you fail me so...?!" And that's when the messages came flooding in.
My body can't fail me unless I fail it. My body is a gift, and, while it ain't always so pretty, it's a tremendous gift. It's born two amazingly healthy children and has taken me on a hell of a ride these last 30 years. God (and Ann and Pat) gave me a strong and healthy body. My mind and my spirit are the only things that can fail. When they fail, my body will break down and it will fail.
Wow....what a cool realization....!